I was lying in the bed just a few moments ago,  and feeling an abscess under my left breast. I will have to go out on Friday and get this thing lanced.   I get these from time to time when I am highly stressed or angry.  My emotions always show up in my body.  Should give me a reason to keep myself calm.

I have always considered myself a good person.  I was always able to keep my emotions in check and never show pain to anyone.  I was “resilient.”  I could keep moving after any situation.  I have prided myself in these facts over the years.

Realize and Release...

As I was lying there and feeling whether this abscess was ready for a lancing, I thought about my last boyfriend.  This guy was highly angry and had been known to be before me.  (I didn’t know this, but found out within the relationship.)

I do not consider myself an angry person.  I have always believed I was even keel.  Even so, I can get angry sometimes and then these freakish abscesses come.  I hadn’t had one of these abscesses in years.  I remember my first one.  I was stressing over a long distance relationship.

Within the last year of my last relationship with ‘angry man,’ I got about 3 of them (at different times) under my right breast. I had three minor surgeries for this last year.  I blamed my boyfriend.  I said that he stressed me and that his anger made me angry.

As, I lay on the bed and felt this abscess tonight.  I realized that it was I who was angry, not my ex-boyfriend.  It was not his fault.  The anger had always been inside, but deeply hidden.   Hidden just like the toxins within the abscess under my breast.

I attracted this angry man out of my own hidden anger.  I was angry!  All this time, it has been me, and no one else.  I have been the bad seed.  I was the one who needed healing.  I was the one who needed to change.  Oh my God!

This realization is taking me by storm right now!

As, I go tomorrow to get the abscess lanced and release these toxins from my body.  I am also today going to release the anger that I have held for so long.  I am aware of it.  I allow it.  I am FREE from it.

I hope this may have helped someone.  Tweet Someone About It.